Coffee Table Wedding Album Table - New product.

on Friday, 06 January 2006. Posted in Weddings

Derek Pye Photography is pleased to announce an exciting new product for 2006.

Have you ever ordered a storybook coffee table wedding album and been disappointed? I have and so have many of my clients. Unlike conventional coffee table albums The Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table' is an actual table.
For once it's a wedding album you can really put your coffee on. No more fumbling around in drawers looking for your wedding photos when immigration officers arrive unannounced. Your album furniture is always there as a wonderful conversation piece. Pull up a chair and put your feet up. The Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table' has been tested to withstand very hot coffee.

Coffee Table album

Details:

Table made in China from superb wood.

The Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table' may stain if you drink real coffee.

Available to buy or rent. Yes that's right. Why buy wedding products when you can rent them. Our attractive leasing packages mean you can return your Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table' when you no longer need it. Please note your Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table Table' may be repossessed if you fail to keep up repayments.

Frequently Annoying Questions.

1. Is the album detachable? - No it is super glued to the highest standards

2. Can I return the The Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table' if it's broken? - No, I have a shed full of broken ones as it is.

3. Do you offer any other wedding furniture? - Not at the moment but we hope to offer The Derek Pye Storybook Occasional Table Wedding Album Occasional Table Table'soon.

4. Can I put other hot drinks on my Album Table? - Our Album Tables have been tested with coffee and various alcoholic beverages. I can confirm that it is safe for biscuits and snacks. Do not allow children or animals near your Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table' in case it falls on them and they are killed.

5. How much do they cost? - Like all wedding supplies the cost varies depending on how well off you sound when you call.

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Comments (28)

Anonymous

06 February 2013 at 17:08 | #

Derek - are you able to supply the Album Table to other photographers? I like
the look of it and I'm sure my clients will too. Is it easy to assemble?

reply
Photo Pete

06 February 2013 at 17:09 | #

Is this a joke?

reply
Anonymous

06 February 2013 at 17:09 | #

NOTHING ABOUT ERIC, I MEAN DEREK, IS A JOKE - YOU FOOL ! THIS MAN IS A GENIUS OF INVENTION AND A MASTERMIND PHOTOGRAPHER... MUCH DECORATED! A BIT LIKE MY HOUSE...

reply
Anonymous

06 February 2013 at 17:09 | #

Can you buy it in flat pack form for ease of shipping and build it when you get home?

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- Derek
  
  06 February 2013 at 17:10 | #
  
  Yes - your Album Table‚will arrive flat packed, about 6-7 months after we
  receive full payment. The instructions are in Chinese so you'll need to get
  them translated.
  
  The album arrives separately a few months later. If you've finished
  assembling the table you should then super glue the album to the top. All
  you need to do then is wait for the photographs to arrive so you can stick
  them in. Use the remainder of the glue for this.
  
  Cheers
  
  Derek
  
  reply
Anonymous

06 February 2013 at 17:10 | #

Do they sell it in Ikea? Is it available in different wood finishes? Is the wood from sustainable sources?

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Anon

06 February 2013 at 17:10 | #

I am a bit concerned Erik... I mean, HOW can you afford to provide such QUALITY, working with such tight deadlines for delivery and keep your prices SO LOW?

Please do not make a loss in order to help to further your professional colleagues' careers!!!

You must be careful not to go under ! (although I suspect you'd enjoy that...)

reply
Lord Lichfield

06 February 2013 at 17:11 | #

Derek, the coffee table looks fantastic and the lease program is just perfect for MY customers as most of them will only need it about 6 months unless it can be split in two.

One thing does concern me though. If the table is placed in the middle of the room with chairs on both sides, the pictures will obviously be upside down for half the people in the room.

My question is; how easy is it to turn the table around?

reply
- Derek
  
  06 February 2013 at 17:11 | #
  
  We are aware of this problem and it is likely that the MKII Table Album™ will
  feature an old record player turntable fixed between the album and the table,
  allowing the pictures to be viewed from any position in the room.
  
  reply
Anon

06 February 2013 at 17:12 | #

Derek, I love your modern, innovative style. I don't do weddings myself, but
I'm considering starting now I've seen what's possible.

I'm thinking of doing a budget service called the "Drive-By Shooting Wedding
Shoot". For 25 quid I arrange for the bride and groom to stand on the kerb
outside the church at a precisely pre-arranged time. My driver comes tearing
around at the correct time (give or take 20 minutes, no refunds allowed) and I
grab a shot from the passenger seat. With the motordrive on full speed I
might manage 6 shots - one of which is bound to be sharp. I can worry about
the exposure later (that's the joy of digital after all).

What do you think? I reckon with a bit of planning I could fit around 20 of
these into a single day. The bride and groom get a picture, and noone has to
stand around for hours while some fat b*****d egomaniac snapper with
yellow fingers and halitosis shouts at them.

If you like the idea, I'll sell it to you. Please feel free to call me!

reply
Anony

06 February 2013 at 17:12 | #

Not all of my customers have space for a coffe table. How about one of the bean bag type lap trays that lazy slobs use to eat their tea off while watching telly on the sofa?

reply
Anonymous

06 February 2013 at 17:12 | #

Good luck with this one. I hope you have more success than my 'Toilet Seat Portrait' range. I thought people would love to have images of their loved ones in the Throne Room. It was a brilliant concept; the man's face on the top front of the seat, so she could look down and see her loved one during her ablutions... and when you put the toilet seat up, there's the missus smiling at you.

Yet, despite all this smart stuff, it simply failed to sell. Personally, I blame the toilet seat manufacturers and their inability to get the right white balance for the background. No one wants to see their loved ones looking off colour, especially during urination.

reply
Anonymous

06 February 2013 at 17:13 | #

Might I suggest a Lazy Susan version of the book (the twirly thing you put your cheesy hedghogs on). Dips and nibble orifices could be an additional feature. Perfect for parties.

reply
Derek

06 February 2013 at 17:13 | #

Dear Quicksnap

Are you having a laugh? - it's the most ridiculous idea I've ever heard. Never
ever ever try and laugh at religion. Messing with God is a big mistake.

Grow up.

All the best

Derek

reply
Anonymous

06 February 2013 at 17:14 | #

Derek,

PLEASE go back to being a heating engineer ...

PLEASE?

reply
- Derek
  
  06 February 2013 at 17:14 | #
  
  I'm still a heating engineer.
  
  reply
Pete

06 February 2013 at 17:14 | #

Dear Derek,

I was so interested in your exciting new wedding concept, I have deciderd to throw my heavy nikon equipment away and go down the throw away camera route, I am going to charge just £99.01 for my triple gold package, take a couple of shots of the couple, then give them the camera to get proccesed themselves, so I wont have to piss about with fotoship and all that crap, if they want reprints they can just phone me up and I can tell them to take them to jessops and send me £10.00 for the copyrights, do you think this will bo O.K

Many Thanks Pete.

reply
Dave

06 February 2013 at 17:15 | #

Derek, I'm used to offering the parents a smaller copy of the album. Now I don't want to pay for 3 x your product, so I was wondering if you do a nested table version ? That way it keeps postage prices down too. Only concern is over which parent gets the bigger of the 2 small tables

reply
- Derek
  
  06 February 2013 at 17:15 | #
  
  No we don't
  
  reply
Emma

06 February 2013 at 17:15 | #

Hi Derek, I wonder if your coffee table comes with corny music piped in through it? For example, the theme of Titanic? I think my Clients would pay a premium for a classy ballad.

Emma

reply
- Derek
  
  06 February 2013 at 17:15 | #
  
  Your clients are retarded.
  
  All the best Derek
  
  reply
  - Emma Flavell Highlands
    
    06 February 2013 at 17:16 | #
    
    Nasty pasty!
    
    reply
Neil

06 February 2013 at 17:16 | #

Derek the £2000 "The Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table" that arrived by delivery truck was damaged when i unpacked it, there was no return postage label, can you send me a pre-paid heavy duty shipping crate to post it back to you as id like a replacement, this time with a teak finish as the current "gloss Oak look" doesn't suit my suite! My dog is quite tall so id appreciate it if you could extend the legs a bit so he can sleep under the table. Many thank for the album though its fab!

reply
- Derek
  
  06 February 2013 at 17:17 | #
  
  Thank you for your interest in our products.
  
  reply
  - Neil
    
    06 February 2013 at 17:17 | #
    
    The crate arrived for my return which is great. Ive repacked the "The Derek Pye Storybook Coffee Table Wedding Album Table" but with some modifications for your consideration. You could try adding wheels so it can be "passed" round when you have visitors. If you add a travel luggage style fold out handle it could be used to serve tea from the kitchen thus saving further space and added practicality and value. I look forward to our further communications with regards my modifications. Yours one happy customer, Neil
    
    reply
    - Derek
      
      06 February 2013 at 17:17 | #
      
      Like I said - Thank you for your interest in our products*
      
      *piss off
      
      reply
Nigel

06 February 2013 at 17:18 | #

I take it that these albums arent for real?

reply
Richard P Walton

06 May 2015 at 13:42 | #

HI Derek, this is the revelation the wedding industry has been waiting for. PLEASE tell me you will be going into mass production soon? Thanks for inspiring us all!

reply

Coffee Table Wedding Album Table - New product.

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