End World Poetry

I'm sick to the back teeth of hearing that terrible Apache wedding blessing every bleddin' week. I've heard it 8 times in the past two months and now I know it off by heart.

"Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. (Rubbish)
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other.(Blah blah blah)

Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. (Yeah right)
Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. (A miserable one)
May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years,
May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth. (This is the point when everyone starts screaming as I produce an AK-47 from by camera bag)

DO NOT HAVE THIS AT YOUR WEDDING - I have today added a clause to my contract that strictly forbids anybody from reciting these words at the wedding. It is laughably un-original.

I wouldn't mind if it was a bleddin' Red Indian reading it out but some pasty faced chav from Bromley just doesn't cut it.

End World Poetry Now! - Wrist band available soon.

Comments (1)

  • John Paulson

    John Paulson

    06 February 2013 at 16:19 | #

    They are reading the Apache blessing in England? I thought this is just the kind of bunk we get in California. Peace.


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