No video selected.
Wedding photography is not for the faint hearted. I first got into the business shooting war weddings in Vietnam and even spent a spell in Afghanistan shooting weddings. I gave that up as they always seemed to get accidentally bombed by the Americans. Fortunately it was only the women and children that died in these tragic accidents so I was able to make it back to Penge safely. If I get bookings in war zones now then I prefer to send my assistant Muktar. Then again if I get a booking in Essex I prefer to send Muktar.
Working in extreme conditions hardens you and you can develop lots of tricks along that way that make the difficult task of capturing precious memories easier. Modern wedding photography is rammed up to the jowls with tasty trickery. Here’s one of my all time favourites.
The modern bride is full of questions. I blame those terrible wedding magazines that think it’s clever to publish articles with the headline - ‘Questions you MUST ask your Wedding Photographer’. Be warned that I take offense if clients ask me questions. You don’t book the Greatest Living Wedding Photographer - Derek Pye™ and then expect him to speak to you. The thing about these articles is that they are written by 21 year old journalists who aren’t married and have no intention of getting married. They are too busy getting shitfaced for that.
Thanks to these publications any meeting with a potential client is more like 48 hours with the Stasi. Here are a few of the most common questions and the correct answers.
The shock news that it's now legal to photograph Gays in the UK has left photographers jumping for joy as we'll now be able to cash in on the pink pound at long last. I must say that when I first I heard the news about the Civil Partnership Act I felt like Charlton Heston in the action sci-fi film The Planet of the Apes, when he sees the Statue of Liberty on the beach.
My reaction was similar " The fools!" I screamed at Muktar "They are all doomed now. Damn you! Damn you all to hell!" Why any group of people who are forbidden by law to marry would campaign to be allowed to do so really is baffling. It's like foxes marching on Downing Street carrying banners asking for the hunting ban to be lifted. Or Muktar and his mates demanding the government introduce ID cards.
Photographing Gays is now something that UK wedding photographers are going to have to deal with on a regular basis. Shooting Gays is not the same as snapping normal people, and presents the photographer with a set of unique challenges.
I've had a lot of hobbyists asking me to elaborate on the techniques used in Reportedge™ wedding photography so I've decided to answer a few of the most common questions in this guide for idiots. One of the main queries is 'what lens should I use'.
Well, there's an old saying in photography "If a picture's not good enough, you were too close " I think Robert Capa said it. He landed on Omaha beach with the allies and realizing he was far too close to the action he immediately jumped back on the boat and legged it. The first thing he did when he got home was buy the biggest piece of glass he could find and the rest, as they say, is history. He spent the best part of his career shooting from the comfort of an armchair. He was a pipe and slippers man from that day on.