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Remember the days when photography was harder than Jimmy Saville in a hospital waiting room, when taking awful pictures was an effortless click of a button. Thanks to to the merciless onslaught of technology captured from robots sent back in time to set up photo booth businesses, it's now more challenging than ever to capture those charming images of yesteryear fearuring heads chopped off, totally out of focus flash misfired dark masterpieces or those charming flash too close total whiteouts.
That's why we've been working round by round on our new photo app - The AisleAvaGram with InstaShit™ Filters. Now you can relive that classic bygone era when no one except top photographers like Derek Pye could take good pictures by using our revolutionary app.
Get your tickets now for BobFest 11™ - learn to shoot like a mentalist pro tog.
There's a real shortage of professional wed togs capable of shooting demanding wedding assignments here in the UK. Some top drawer brides have even resorted to flying in pro wedding toggers from abroad, so they don't miss out on having their photo taken whilst peeking out from behind a tree.
If you have a reasonably priced DSLR from Dixons, Comet or other major high street Bob suppliers, you could help fill the yawning, gaping gap. Join Derek at his sprawling unobtrusive Manor just off the A2 for a series of mind bending workshops.
You will learn:
Beginner Bob sessions - you must have your own camera and a portfolio of 8000 random tree and cat photos to attend our Beginner Bob programme.
- Master the P setting for total exposure control. Why the precision P mode is King, Queen, Godfather and brother-in-law of the exposure battleground.
- Learn why you need to charge at least £20 even when shooting for free.
- Eye brow trimming workshop - find out why pro wed togs always trim before a big shoot.
- Is editing an overrated waste of time? You may know this already. (workshop cancelled)
- Excuses masterclass - top ten excuses regularly used by the pros. Including ' but silhouettes are atmospheric', ' I can only get them all in from a window' and ' you must have given me the wrong post code'.
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Derek Pye has for the 42nd year running scooped the top prize at the 2010 Award Winning Husband and Wife Top Wedding Photographer awards ceremony. The awards which have run for 42 years, only awards awards to the top award winning wedding photographer and gives the photographer the right to call himself an award winning wedding photographer.
Derek’s picture, entitled “Confetti Piss version 42” was praised by the judges for “ bleak, uncompromising beauty. Simplicity of composition and mastery of the moment”. Speaking after the ceremony Mr Pye said “ I got lucky, the bride was late and I was busting for a piss. You have to be alive to these opportunities, lesser photographers would have found a toilet ”
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Introducing the first Born to Schindler™ all comers Schindlering™ Competition.
Enter your Schindlers™ now to be in with a chance of being crowned ‘The King of the Schindlerers™’
All my Schindlering™ is now done in a massive Schindlering™ factory in Mumbai but you probably still practice this dark art yourself. Upload your Schindler™ to win big!
You can submit as many Schindlers™ as you like and you might win! This prize is THE most coveted in THE wedding photography industry as it is voted for by your fellow Schindlerers™.
Competition ends on 31/7/2010 and then starts again. Open to professional, amateur and hobbyist Schindlerers™ .
WARNING: Nipple Schindlering™ is considered tacky by professional Schindlerers™.
There is a beginner's guide to Schindlering™ here.
Let the Schindlering™ commence!
Enter a Schindler™ - be sure to add your name or website in the description
Vote for your favourite Schindler™
Win a Born to Schindler™ T-shirt (also available in the store - only £13.50) and be the first recipient of the Born to Schindler™ Trophy! Mental!