3 in 1 Continuous Medieval Daylight Lighting Sword
Introducing the incredibly new continuous light source sword - the 3 in 1 Pyelight™ a newly fangled continuous light source sword fangled by Derek Pye. You may have seen inferior and to be frank comedic continuous light sabres fangled by less fangling able wedding photographers which are little more than toys. These Iceylight devices usually only have one function and one function only - illuminating a ropey old model in Iceylight adverts. They are permanently useless for demanding real life husband and wife wedding photographers wedding art assignments.
The Pyelight™ is based on an actual 12th century Crusaders sword from a design dating back to the day Derek Pye saw it in the British Museum. Unlike inferior Star Wars based lighting accessory solutions our Pyelight™ has 3 easy to use modes...
So the bride asks where is the confetti shot and I say like yeah here it is. Sorry I missed it in the air but I was in Costcutter getting some fags.
Fortunately I had a bit and put it on the bar and made this art work and you can remember the confetti and the bar at the same time and I have cigarettes.
All the best Derek.
"And I have Cigarettes" 16x12 fine art print by Derek Pye 2013
Derek Pye is pleased to announce the immediate availability of a new Überpackage - The Literally Escalation Storybook package. Lesser photographers may advertise so-called unlimited all day coverage packages with two so-called photographers and promise they’ll tell the story of your so-called special day but we say ha!. How can they? Who is photographing the guests as they prepare for your massive day? What did your florist have for breakfast? Just how many free glasses of champagne did special Uncle Terry drink? Was every guest laughing during the speeches or did some of them look a bit sad?
You’ll never know unless you book my Literally Escalation Storybook package - with the LES™ we literally assign a photographer to literally cover each guest and supplier as the excitement literally builds. Don’t miss a millisecond of what is literally the biggest day of your gigantic life.
Literally hundreds of thousands of images are taken by our slightly trained toggers and 3 years later once they have been literally individually edited, using the very latest pixellation protocols, we literally supply a bespoke storybook album covering the day from the point of view of each and every guest and each and every supplier - Literally!
Remember the days when photography was harder than Jimmy Saville in a hospital waiting room, when taking awful pictures was an effortless click of a button. Thanks to to the merciless onslaught of technology captured from robots sent back in time to set up photo booth businesses, it's now more challenging than ever to capture those charming images of yesteryear fearuring heads chopped off, totally out of focus flash misfired dark masterpieces or those charming flash too close total whiteouts.
That's why we've been working round by round on our new photo app - The AisleAvaGram with InstaShit™ Filters. Now you can relive that classic bygone era when no one except top photographers like Derek Pye could take good pictures by using our revolutionary app.