BobFest 11™ - THE Uncle Bob training course for all levels of Bob.

on Friday, 16 September 2011. Posted in Derek's Diary

Get your tickets now for BobFest 11™ - learn to shoot like a mentalist pro tog.

There's a real shortage of professional wed togs capable of shooting demanding wedding assignments here in the UK. Some top drawer brides have even resorted to flying in pro wedding toggers from abroad, so they don't miss out on having their photo taken whilst peeking out from behind a tree.

If you have a reasonably priced DSLR from Dixons, Comet or other major high street Bob suppliers, you could help fill the yawning, gaping gap. Join Derek at his sprawling unobtrusive Manor just off the A2 for a series of mind bending workshops.

You will learn:

Beginner Bob sessions - you must have your own camera and a portfolio of 8000 random tree and cat photos to attend our Beginner Bob programme.

Master the P setting for total exposure control. Why the precision P mode is King, Queen, Godfather and brother-in-law of the exposure battleground.
Learn why you need to charge at least £20 even when shooting for free.
Eye brow trimming workshop - find out why pro wed togs always trim before a big shoot.
Is editing an overrated waste of time? You may know this already. (workshop cancelled)
Excuses masterclass - top ten excuses regularly used by the pros. Including ' but silhouettes are atmospheric', ' I can only get them all in from a window' and ' you must have given me the wrong post code'.

Intermediate Bob sessions - you must have your own camera and a portfolio of 8000 random tree and cat photos to attend our Intermediate Bob programme.

P mode expansion brush up session. P safety risk assessment - how wide apertures can prevent overheating, fogged memory card meltdowns and limb loss focusing conundrums.
Mad Dogs and Englishmen squint and shine group shot Q and A.
Practical session. Two highly jaded pros will talk you through the signing of the register. Never miss this essential shot again. Don't worry everyone will get a chance to shoot this exciting set up for their portfolios, but please feel free to crowd round anyway.
Kiosk printing for profit. How to turn your hard work into hard cash.

Pro Bob sessions. You must have your own camera and a portfolio of 8000 random tree and cat photos to attend our Pro Bob programme.

P mode advanced total immersion masterclass. How to identify and stop an accidental stargate emergency.
Bride Management™- Pre-wedding engagement bride calibration profiles explained. Calibrate your bride BEFORE the wedding.
Epileptic Strobist Deficit Disorder Diagnosis session - Off camera pop up flash workshop. Please bring your own soldering iron, two long pieces of wire and some tissues. Warning! Warning!: may invalidate your camera’s warranty.
Hostile Environment Training including Videographer confusion tactics, tripod sabotage and snack jockey hijack foraging.

Turning Pro Clckity Pics Portfolio Builder - sponsored by clikpic.com . Most popular part of any BobFest 11™. Derek will hand out some photos he’s already taken of a ropey old model, dressed up as a bride, stood outside a closed and derelict Church on a windy day in March last year. Bobs can use these images on their websites with Derek’s blessing. We use a different model each year and the old one is sold into slavery so you can be guaranteed she won’t turn up dressed as a bride anywhere else!

Although BobFest 11™ is run by Derek, all Bobs must agree not to approach Derek or talk to him throughout the day. Don’t under any circumstances ask him how many mega pixels his camera has or tell him that you have photographed your niece’s wedding and everyone thought the pictures were good. You may, however, shoot over his shoulder as often as possible but please respect the queue.

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Comments (30)

Desperate

07 December 2012 at 14:16 | #

This is the most comprehensive course programme I've ever seen - I'm only surprised you haven't jumped on the workshops bandwagon before - who are the jaded pros for the signing of the register shoot? Is Brett Harkness one?

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- Brett Harkness
  
  05 July 2016 at 17:50 | #
  
  Im there.....!!
  
  reply
Derek

07 December 2012 at 14:17 | #

The jaded pros are still to be confirmed.

All the best

Derek

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Actually a pro

07 December 2012 at 14:18 | #

What are the tissues for in the flash workshop?

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Derek's Double

07 December 2012 at 14:18 | #

revealing the secrets of eye brow trimming is out of order

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Clive of Harrow

07 December 2012 at 14:19 | #

hey Derek - can you confirm who the model is. I want to check I haven't shot her before. I've wasted enough cash on portfolio building as it is.

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Earl of Schitage

07 December 2012 at 14:19 | #

I know you haven't announced the price yet, but I don't care...can I give you my bank details please.

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depressed in chokey

05 February 2013 at 19:00 | #

If only I had attended last years BobFest! Thanks to P mode misuse I accidentally opened a stargate at a Christening last year. It got in the local paper and now I am in prison. Missed the riots and everything! I think the camera manufacturers are to blame and this issue should be more well highlighted.

Well done Derek!

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Lady Schint

05 February 2013 at 19:00 | #

i refuse to take this seriously.....
unless you offer a section on how to perfect the awesome shot of the rings with only them in colour, maybe worth more if you share presets for the perfect white vignette to go with it and make me a wedding bobbette goddess

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J.A. - Lytham

05 February 2013 at 19:01 | #

Tried to call you Derek but have you had a chance to think about featuring my talk about capturing emotion on the day as reflected in animal posteriors?

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Interested

05 February 2013 at 19:01 | #

What time does this workshop finish? - I'm worried about my electronic tag.

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Me again

05 February 2013 at 19:02 | #

Good to see you're still a prick Derek

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Dave the pro formerly a Bob

05 February 2013 at 19:02 | #

Shortage of wedding photographers?!??!

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Paul Davies

05 February 2013 at 19:02 | #

Looking forward to BobFest 11™ ... I have rigorously followed your tips and advice on here but still feel I have much to learn. I have been told that the 'P' mode stands for 'professional' and have always felt unqualified to use this mode, but with Bobfest things may change. I recently did a 'big fat gypsy wedding' and am sure I got at least 5 lucky shots - unfortunately my camera and 512k memory card have still not been recovered by Humberside Constabulary's finest so the jury is out on that one (no pun intended).

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Mr Moon

05 February 2013 at 19:03 | #

I don't have enough cat and tree photos, can I cut some out from the local rag and pass them off as my own?

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crash trailer

05 February 2013 at 19:03 | #

I think you are awesome would you give me an interview

after which

my seo skills will ensure that everyone who searches for your website
will end up on my website ?

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- Derek
  
  05 February 2013 at 19:04 | #
  
  Sure thing Crashy - drop me a line
  
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Andrew Miller

05 February 2013 at 19:04 | #

OMG. I love this - can I repost it on my blog with full credits to you?!!!

Andrew Miller
Andrew Miller Photography

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XChis

05 February 2013 at 19:05 | #

P mode advanced total immersion masterclass. How to identify and stop an accidental stargate emergency. LOL

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Robert Cleun

05 February 2013 at 19:05 | #

Dear fellow Togs - I am in urgent need of your help. I have a client I acquired last year who has seen a sample album I had been using as my portfolio. She now want to order a similar one for herself but I can't register with the supplier as my website is under construction and they want me to prove I am pro!. I am only new as a pro tog as I started last year. I got the portfolio album when I was hanging round a local venue on a Saturday as i have found this and also being near local studios as the best way to pick up leads in the meantime. Until my site is up. So what I need is a photographer who can order me a Graphistudio album and upload it. I will pay as I quoted her over £75 for the album which i think should be more than enough but I also can't find price list. This is pretty urgent now.

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Andrea,s photography

05 February 2013 at 19:06 | #

this is bloody excellent I so love the things I have read on here, although I,m guilty of having a clikpic site ooops. really well written and very entertaining

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Will Fielding

05 February 2013 at 19:06 | #

I want to join for the beginner sessions but im worried that there are not enough cats or trees in my local area,I have thought about traveling but am worried about having my camera stolen by another tog as in the past they have all looked at my camera like they want it and I feel some could possibly be dangerous. I am also worried that im going to have to do this another 2 times to progress on the course. Is there any other way I can get on the course as I enjoy taking pictures of the sky. Also I am a little worried about having my eyebrows trimmed, does this have to happen?

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Derek

05 February 2013 at 19:06 | #

Sorry for not getting back to you sooner Will - you can just send me some cash and I will post you the certificate as if you'd passed the course anyway.

All the best

Derek

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Christine

05 February 2013 at 19:07 | #

I missed this and would like to attend your next training workshop as my photos are not very good. Thank you Christine

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bob

05 February 2013 at 19:07 | #

damn...missed it. Can i come to the next one. I dont have a camera though, but i do have a bike with dangly things on the handlebars, will that work?

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E. Braun

08 February 2013 at 22:20 | #

I am thinking of becoming a wedding photographer
do I need to know how to use a digital camera ?

I once worked as a photographers assistant
but that was quite a while ago

EB

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JR

30 September 2013 at 13:13 | #

Derek,
As a fellow Photo God ,(42 years on The Guardian), I am now looking for a change of career following my sacking,(the editor really hated my photos of his cat).
Any tips for transferring to wedding photography? Obviously I have the photo-reportedge experience under my belt after covering lots of doorsteps and monsterings during the previous 42 years. Is it very similar on weddings? I'm pretty good at car shots and photography in a goatsuck situation.
Best wishes,
JR.

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- Derek Pye
  
  30 September 2013 at 14:29 | #
  
  There is a real shortage of wedding photographers and I don't envisage that you will have any problems making the transition despite having worked for the communists.
  
  All the best
  
  Derek
  
  reply
Gervase Ffortescue-Smythe

09 February 2014 at 10:00 | #

This "educate the Bobs" stuff is all very well, but when are you going to do a workshop on "Coping with High-End Weddings"? I am forced to photograph weddings at stately homes, remote Scottish castles, on Caribbean islands etc. and I am in need of some guidance on how best to apply your stunning Schindlering™ and ReportEdge™ techniques when photographing posh totty in Vera Wang frocks.

I can manage close-ups of canapés and bottles of Taittinger '58 but struggle to get the necessary tilty out of focus direct flash shots of the bridal party.

Can you help?

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Bobby bubba ()

03 July 2015 at 19:45 | #

After having been on this course 9 times already I am determined and ready for another try. One thing worries me Derek is that if I'm not able to master the white vignette will I need to keep coming back and for many many times? What if I never master it? And just to let you know I have just bought some new brown shoes from Matalan.

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BobFest 11™ - THE Uncle Bob training course for all levels of Bob.

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Comments (30)

Desperate

Brett Harkness

Derek

Actually a pro

Derek's Double

Clive of Harrow

Earl of Schitage

depressed in chokey

Lady Schint

J.A. - Lytham

Interested

Me again

Dave the pro formerly a Bob

Paul Davies

Mr Moon

crash trailer

Derek

Andrew Miller

XChis

Robert Cleun

Andrea,s photography

Will Fielding

Derek

Christine

bob

E. Braun

JR

Derek Pye

Gervase Ffortescue-Smythe

Bobby bubba ()

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